


I Guess Not

by booksandtea15



Category: NCT (Band)
Genre: Fluff, Gen, I don't really know what this is, I was feeling fluffy, Jeno and Jaemin are really just mentioned, M/M, Renjun is in a short scene, SO MUCH FLUFF, Sleeping Together, actual sleeping, comfort in touch
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-10-08
Updated: 2018-10-08
Packaged: 2019-07-28 02:19:18
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,900
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/16232213
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/booksandtea15/pseuds/booksandtea15
Summary: Donghyuck loved affection. He loved squeezing people’s cheeks, and gently petting their hair, and softly, lightly, smoothing his fingers in the space between someone’s thumb and forefinger. It was a habit.





	I Guess Not

Donghyuck loved affection. He loved squeezing people’s cheeks, and gently petting their hair, and softly, lightly, smoothing his fingers in the space between someone’s thumb and forefinger. It was a habit. 

He liked the feeling of a warm, living,  _ real  _ person near him. (And it was important to differentiate between what was real and what wasn’t, as his mother had often reminded him, when he was neck deep in whatever fantasy world had gripped his attention that week.)

Donghyuck loved affection. He poured it out lovingly, continuously, to all the people he cared about. And he loved giving attention to Mark. 

At first Mark had seemed befuddled by all the hugs, all the attempts at cheek kisses and squishes, at all the, the  _ touching. _

Donghyuck would reach out a hand to pet his hair, a habit for him, and Mark would freeze under his hands, glancing at him out of the corner of his eyes before turning back to whatever he was doing. Finally, Donghyuck realised that Mark wasn’t so much freaked out by the touch, but more startled by the suddenness of it all. 

Donghyuck would begin to prequel his touches with clearing his throat softly, or a soft touch on Mark’s elbow, trying not to scare him. (Like a little baby deer, his mind insisted, even though, with his eyes wide like that, Mark looked more like a shocked little kitten.) It took a while, but, eventually, Mark wouldn’t even flinch even when Donghyuck was wrapped all around him, chin on Mark’s shoulder and legs wrapped around Mark’s waist. Like a backpack. In fact, Mark got so comfortable with Donghyuck touching him, that he lost his guard even among their friends.

It was on one of Donghyuck and Mark's impromptu movie nights that Renjun burst in, a thundercloud on his face and a vague mumbling of Jaemin and Jeno being ‘gross’.

(Donghyuck had several loud opinions about this, and about Jeno and Jaemin living with Renjun while Renjun looked at them with various degrees of tortured expressions, but after a sharp pinch and a stern talking to from Mark after one of Donghyuck's loud opinions ended up with Renjun definitely  _ not  _ crying in Mark's arms, he had refrained from mentioning it.)

So, Mark had merely waved him in, explaining that they were already in the middle of their Shrek marathon (“You missed the best one,” Donghyuck chipped in from the couch, reaching out and trying to change the dvds without leaving the couch. “Now you only have mediocre from here on out”) and ordering him to be in charge of supplying the popcorn when they ran out.

Renjun had rolled his eyes, complaining loudly, but Donghyuck saw the tired relief in his eyes, the unclenching in his shoulders. Donghyuck really,  _ really  _ wished he could go to Jeno and Jaemin and just like,  _ make _ them look at Renjun and  _ see  _ what’s so fucking  _ blatantly  _ obvious. 

Renjun, on his way to the kitchen to get more popcorn after thoroughly thrashing everything about Prince Charming, paused, tilting his head and looking oddly at the pair on the couch who had naturally migrated closer over the course of the evening.. “Ooooookay. That’s a new development.”

Mark, with Donghyuck’s head in his lap and his hand resting on Donghyuck’s stomach, frowned at him. “What is?”

Renjun bit his lip, one eyebrow lifting. “That.” He gestured to them. “This. Closeness.” He crossed his arms. “Are we gonna have to make rules about PDA now? Cause we had to do that with Jeno and Jaemin and getting them to stick to that was  _ awful _ and--”

“What, no!” Mark made to get up, but a muffled groan from his lap stopped him, Donghyuck having turned his face into Mark’s stomach, already having been half asleep earlier. 

“Will you guys, please,  _ please _ , shut up. I’m trying to sleep here,” he groaned, pulling on Mark’s sweater until it covered his head.

Mark pursed his lips, fighting the colour in his cheeks as Renjun smirked at him. 

“There’s  _ nothing _ going on,” he insisted.

“If you say so,” Renjun snickered, continuing on to the kitchen, leaving Mark confused and irritated, settling on petting the back of Donghyuck’s neck to ease himself. 

There was  _ nothing _ going on. Honestly.

\---

Mark couldn’t sleep. It was half past eleven, and he should have been asleep an hour ago, and he had a test the next morning and he still had two chapters to study before the test but doing it now wouldn’t help and--

Mark took a deep breath, lying on his back and staring at the ceiling. Deep breath. In, out, in, out. If he could just, if he could just get the squirming, tight, uncomfortable feeling in his chest to go away, if he could just manage to relax his shoulders…

Half an hour later, tired, eyes burning, and nowhere nearer sleep than he had been before, Mark let out a small, hopeless, tiny sob. He was so  _ tired _ . He just wanted to  _ sleep _ . 

Rolling onto his side, Mark rolled himself into a little ball, took a deep shuddering sigh, and threw off the cover. 

Stumbling out of his room, Mark shuffled to Donghyuck’s room, head coming to a knocking rest on the door. There was muffled commotion on the inside. 

“Mark?”

Mark blinked open his tired, burning eyes.

“Donghyuck. Donghyuckkie.” Mark paused, trying to figure out what he was trying to say. “I can’t sleep.”

Another muffled shuffle came from inside, and the door opened under Mark’s forehead, and he stumbled forward, straight into Donghyuck, who shot out his arms to catch him, hands coming up to wrap around his back.

“Hey, hey, Mark, are you ok?”

Behind his back, Mark saw Donghyuck’s screen still flickering, paused on the menu of Persona 5, controller thrown haphazardly on the bed.

“I can’t sleep,” Mark whined, burrowing his head in Donghyuck’s shoulder. “I can’t  _ sleep _ , and I have a test tomorrow, and my chest feels too tight and--”

“Hey, hey,” Donghyuck said, gently, leading Mark towards his bed. “Come on, try and sleep here tonight.”

Mark blinked at the screen. “Are you  _ still _ playing games? Don’t you have a early class tomorrow.”

Donghyuck waved his hand, waving away Mark’s worries. “Pish-posh, it’s not compulsory  _ and _ we’re doing an assignment I already completed.” 

Mark frowned, preparing to say something, but interrupting himself with a massive, jaw-splitting yawn. “I… don’t have enough energy for this.”

Donghyuck grinned, turning off his screen and tugging Mark into bed, tugging the comforter over both of them. Mark relaxed into the bed, somehow more comfortable than his own. 

It didn’t used to be a thing. This sharing beds thing. And it didn’t happen that often. Only when Mark was so stressed he couldn’t sleep, or when that sad, black, lonely thing gripped his heart and pulled  _ tight _ , did he go looking for Donghyuck’s warm, comfortable bed. And only when Donghyuck had nightmares, or when he showed up at Mark’s door with wide, haunted eyes, refusing to explain or elaborate, burrowing himself tightly under Mark’s arm.

So, yeah. It wasn’t like this was a new thing, like Mark wasn’t used to placing his head on Donghyuck’s chest, arms wrapped around his back. It wasn’t a new thing. But it was becoming more, more… usual. More comfortable. 

Donghyuck’s hands were smoothing themselves up and down Mark’s back, and Mark was comfortable, and the clenching in his stomach was loosening up and he could feel himself drifting off to sleep. And there was. There was something important he had to say. Something to the boy wrapped around him, something… important. 

“Donghyuck,” Mark mumbled, snuffling against Donghyuck’s neck. “Donghyuck, Hyuckkie.”

There was movement around Mark, and he felt a slight pressure on his head, something pressing lightly against it. “Yes, hyung?” There seemed to be a smile in Donghyuck’s voice, and if Donghyuck was smiling, Mark was smiling too. 

“Thank you for this. I love you.”

There came a sharp gasp, followed by hands tightening around Mark’s back. “Hyung?”

Mark tilted his head up, blinking his eyes open, and smiling into a frowning Donghyuck’s face. “I love you.” And then he leaned forward, artlessly smushing his lips against Donghyuck’s. 

It was too harsh, and too sudden, a bump of lip against lip, not so much kissing as just pressing together, At least, it was until, Donghyuck’s hand came up, cradling Mark’s cheek, gentling the kiss until it was well, a kiss. He held it there for a few seconds, before pushing gently, separating them. 

“Mark?”

Mark felt drugged, the soft drag of Donghyuck’s lips against his leaving him tingling. “Yeah?”

“Are you--” He broke off, blinking rapidly, chest rising just a little bit too fast. “Did you mean that? All of that? The kiss and, and… the words?”

Mark considered it, thinking about Renjun’s calculating face, and his own soft, warm,  _ comfortable _ feeling he got around Donghyuck, how everything seemed a little bit better, and a little bit brighter with him around. “Yeah. Yeah, I think I did.”

“Oh.” Donghyuck’s voice was shaky, his eyes wide. “Oh, okay. I, thank you. I, I love you too, hyung.” His face seemed to crumple, his chest hitching. “I love you too.”

Mark, now officially much more awake, pushed himself up onto his elbow, frowning, ignoring the warm feeling those words gave him. “Donghyuckkie, are you okay? I, you don’t have to say it back, if you don’t want.” Even saying those words resulted in a sharp, burning pain in his chest, but he pushed on. He hadn’t said it to pressure Donghyuck, or to make him say anything. He’d said it because he felt it, nothing more. “I mean, I understand if you don’t--”

Donghyuck shook his head, quickly, almost violently. “No! No, I meant it. I wanted to say it. I just, I just never thought I would get the chance.” There were actual tears leaking out of Donghyuck’s eyes now, and Mark wiped at them frantically.

“What?  _ Why? _ ”

“Because, hyung,” he sniffed, hand curling around Mark’s neck. “You’re smart, and you study for classes, and you have a schedule for each day, and you know what’s going on, most of the time, and you buy the milk on time and, and. And I play video games until the early hours of the morning and skip class and sometimes fail tests and I’m just.” He sniffed again. “I’m not good enough for you.”

Mark felt his heart clench in his chest, and he couldn’t stop himself from placing a small storm of kisses all over Donghyuck’s face. 

“You’re smart too. So smart, and so talented. I know you spend more hours in the studio than any other dance major, and I know you only skip the classes you really don’t need to attend. You pull me away from my work when I’m about to have a breakdown, and you always make the  _ best _ tea.” Mark grinned wryly. “You can spend less time playing video games, granted. You  _ are  _ always complaining that you’re tired, so…”

Donghyuck punched him half-heartedly on the arm, and Mark mock winced. “Is that any way to treat the boy that just proclaimed his love to you?”

Donghyuck grinned, still slightly teary-eyed. “Well, I guess not.”

“‘I guess not’”, Mark mocked, ducking his head to place a sweet, rather more sophisticated kiss on Donghyuck’s lips. 

“Yeah,” Donghyuck grinned. “I guess not.” 

**Author's Note:**

> This was just. An indulgence. I really would love to do a longer thing for them soon, but I just needed to get all this fluff out. I was dying. 
> 
> Find me on twitter:  
> [booksandtea15](https://twitter.com/booksandtea15)


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